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  #16  
Old 10-11-2007, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sracharla View Post
When people take help they don't even realize they are taking help. On other day one of my friend (met him in grocery store) parked his car in my apartment and asked me to drop him at the airport (as parking in airport is expensive and he is out of town for a week)....he parked his car at my apartment and i dropped him at the airport....after a week i realized his car disappeared...when i called him to find out, he said he is back and he took his car....i was really mad and couldn't find a way to express myself...
Very similar to how people use us at IV. People come heere and pretend to be serious IV contributors just to get the information they want. Once they get what they want, they won't even say a thank you, and pretend they never knew about IV

Another example is of an elderly lady, who just landed at the Portland, OR airport. She was from Sri Lanka, I just landed and figured out that she was weeping, I asked her if I can help her. She told me she just landed from Sri Lanka and her son has not come to pick her up. There was an airport agent trying to help but communication problem. So I called her son and it was going to voice mail. So I guessed they must be at the airport or on the way, so I stayed with her and kept making public announcments atleast 4 times and was consoling her, I sat beside her, after her son came and made a public announcment and the agents who were helping us, quickly hooked the son and mom. Now Son mom sentiment, I said OK I am leaving - no thanks, they behaved as if I never existed they took her bags and walked away without even looking at my face, so I just followed them outside as I was also heading that way and struck a conversation with the person, he would not respond at all - no smiles, the old lady was also doing the same thing.

Lack of courtesy is a very common thing. We all may do it unknowingly at times
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  #17  
Old 10-11-2007, 06:49 PM
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Default Time to change

- No harm in changing outlook.

- One might feel bad at times (like the old woman incident at the airport), but I am sure that person will remember the Good Samaritan who helped her one day.

- Take the risk (of being labelled into one of the categories mentioned by Chandu) and smile!! (And do post the outcome here!)
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  #18  
Old 10-11-2007, 06:53 PM
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canmt is infamous around these parts canmt is infamous around these parts
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  #19  
Old 10-11-2007, 07:12 PM
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This is basic elementary education, which somehow must have got missed for those who act that way. But never too late to learn.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chanduv23 View Post
Lack of courtesy is a very common thing. We all may do it unknowingly at times
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  #20  
Old 10-11-2007, 07:20 PM
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Default Akkakarla

Hey Akkakarla, be careful in what you post, you have been a member since Jul 2006, you should know better.

Post carefully and enjoy chitchat.
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  #21  
Old 10-11-2007, 07:28 PM
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Default Asian cultures

Quote:
Originally Posted by chanduv23 View Post
Very similar to how people use us at IV. People come heere and pretend to be serious IV contributors just to get the information they want. Once they get what they want, they won't even say a thank you, and pretend they never knew about IV

Another example is of an elderly lady, who just landed at the Portland, OR airport. She was from Sri Lanka, I just landed and figured out that she was weeping, I asked her if I can help her. She told me she just landed from Sri Lanka and her son has not come to pick her up. There was an airport agent trying to help but communication problem. So I called her son and it was going to voice mail. So I guessed they must be at the airport or on the way, so I stayed with her and kept making public announcments atleast 4 times and was consoling her, I sat beside her, after her son came and made a public announcment and the agents who were helping us, quickly hooked the son and mom. Now Son mom sentiment, I said OK I am leaving - no thanks, they behaved as if I never existed they took her bags and walked away without even looking at my face, so I just followed them outside as I was also heading that way and struck a conversation with the person, he would not respond at all - no smiles, the old lady was also doing the same thing.

Lack of courtesy is a very common thing. We all may do it unknowingly at times
Asian cultures are totally different from western cultures in expression of gratitude and apologies. "Thank you" and "Sorry" is something that is very much understood, and not expressed in words in Asian cultures, especially, India, Bangaladesh, Sri Lanka and probably even China. You are in crowded train, and you accidently push someone or step on someone's foot, you dont say "Sorry". Someone gives your kid a free candy, you dont say "thank you".

On western cultures, expression is very very overt, especially with regards to saying "thank you" and "Sorry". Hold the door for someone, say thank-you. Pull a chair for someone, say thank you. Step on someone's toe in subway, say sorry. Merely brush someone when walking in crowded places/trains/buses, say sorry. Walk in crowded subway brushing several people, say sorry sorry sorry, --- one sorry per person you brush against, or step on toes of, or push accidentally/intentionally.
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  #22  
Old 10-11-2007, 07:56 PM
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Default

This is so funny and also good that we are talking openly about this. We have neihgbours from India and whenever I tried to smile or say Hi to them, they just turn their faces away. Initially I thought they are rude but then I thought they might be just shy.

Well...i'm not going to give up and keep saying Hi, just I say Hi and smile for every other people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chanduv23 View Post
When U r in an Indian grocery store and smile and greet another Indian - he/she will immediately avoid u. When I discussed this with people thay they different reasons
(1) They may think you are from Ammway or Quickstar
(2) By coming to America they think it is an achievement, when they see you, they think they are American and you are Indian
(3) They are afraid you may ask for favour.
(4) If you are a guy and if the other person is a guy - he may assume u r a gay if u r smiling at him and will avoid u
(5) if you are a guy and is the other person is a girl - her husband will think you are making passes at his wife if you smile so they will turn their faces away from you.

When I new to US in 2000, I used to work in a place called Alpharetta in GA, no good public transport . No car, no lisence , nothing ... there were so many Indians at my workplace, they used to take me out for lunch and talk big things like I get this at walmart, etc... no one offered to help me out with what I needed. There was a sweet Bangladeshi guy, who offered to give me a ride everyday until I am well settled with a car.

I am not sure if this happens in every community
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  #23  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logiclife View Post
Asian cultures are totally different from western cultures in expression of gratitude and apologies. "Thank you" and "Sorry" is something that is very much understood, and not expressed in words in Asian cultures, especially, India, Bangaladesh, Sri Lanka and probably even China. You are in crowded train, and you accidently push someone or step on someone's foot, you dont say "Sorry". Someone gives your kid a free candy, you dont say "thank you".

On western cultures, expression is very very overt, especially with regards to saying "thank you" and "Sorry". Hold the door for someone, say thank-you. Pull a chair for someone, say thank you. Step on someone's toe in subway, say sorry. Merely brush someone when walking in crowded places/trains/buses, say sorry. Walk in crowded subway brushing several people, say sorry sorry sorry, --- one sorry per person you brush against, or step on toes of, or push accidentally/intentionally.

Did you miss Pakistan purposefully? Just kidding...
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Last edited by BharatPremi; 10-11-2007 at 08:53 PM.
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  #24  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chanduv23 View Post
(5) if you are a guy and is the other person is a girl - her husband will think you are making passes at his wife if you smile so they will turn their faces away from you.
When I smiled at other indian guys, most of them do repond. But girls donot. Not even gals who are probably going to school, forget abt married people.
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  #25  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logiclife View Post
Asian cultures are totally different from western cultures in expression of gratitude and apologies. "Thank you" and "Sorry" is something that is very much understood, and not expressed in words in Asian cultures,
Asian cultures need to pick up the 'good' from western cultures and vice-versa. Expressing politeness, gratitude and apology explicitly is a good thing.
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  #26  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:18 PM
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Default New Cast based Indian-American system

Have you guys ever experienced the guy immediately disappearing the moment he comes to know about your Visa status during Social Gatherings?

And have you ever meet with the guys who always talk about returning back to India "permanently" and how they are missing India and you start assuming that this guy must be from Sisodia family from Rajasthan (Rana Pratap) and after next moment you come to know that they have applied for US Citizenship and if you dare to show contradiction you will be out from his phone book permanently.

I am asked by many people during social gatherings where I just go first time - one common question - Are you a citizen?

I always say: "yes" ... Then conversation go ahead very long and exchange of phone numbers etc... but if the curious digger decides to dig little deep .. I say , yes I am citizen of India.. And you literally see fake and some non explainable expressions on his/her face.. and that usually remains our last conversation

New Casts in Indian American Families:
--------------------------------------

1) Citizens

Sub Cast: *** Those are here from 20 to 60 years: Via Africa, Via Britain

Sub-Subcast A: - Economic level 'X' and family has not remained "Purely" Indian.
Sub-Subcast B: - ABCDs

*** Those recently (Since last 10-12 years) became citizens of USA

This group talks about India so much, you feel overwhelmed with emotions but that lasts till the day they find
USCIS's approved citizenship letter in their mail box. Next day onwards they completely ignore anything related
with "India".

2) PR Holders

3) Work OR student visa holders

4)
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Last edited by BharatPremi; 10-11-2007 at 09:13 PM.
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  #27  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escape_Velocity View Post
================================================== =====
Do we throw trash in a trash can in India, but we do it in US ? Why ?
While driving we give way to passers by ? Do you do this in India then why do it US ?
You religiously follow a queue ? Do you do this India then why do it in US ?
I watch lot of indian movies. There are whole bunch of movies directed by Tamil director, Shankar who inspires to change the existing corrupted system in India. I dont say I am totally changed and became Gandhi, But I try to do all the above 3 posted by you even in India also.
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  #28  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:23 PM
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Default Interesting

Where I am from, and what I was bought up to do, was apologize if someone stepped on my toes in a crowded train...

It's a national trait that is now the butt of many jokes

In general, I find about 90% of the people I meet are incredibly rude. But that's entirely cultural and I know that. I don't think they teach "please", "thank you" or "excuse me" any more!

Hmmm... maybe I should start an etiquette school...
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  #29  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:39 PM
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siravi has a spectacular aura about siravi has a spectacular aura about
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by jgh_res View Post
When I smiled at other indian guys, most of them do repond. But girls donot.
Hmmm,,, I know I would smile back--even though I am walking around feeling the blues, thanks to my immi status.
Seriously though, there is something very pleasing about a friendly smile; its just plain nice and difficult not to respond to, whether you are Indian, non-Indian, male or female--so smile away
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  #30  
Old 10-11-2007, 08:45 PM
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Smile

I never used to look into any Indian faces for the first 3 or 4 months in USA during 2001 (Chicago) because people used to laugh at my long leather jacket I got from old city, Hyderabad. I was looking at my old pics, that was funny.

I started looking at any indian faces and great them after I got new Jacket.
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