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doreenam
08-26-2013, 04:54 PM
Respectable Reader,
I am an American Citizen of Indian origin. I moved to the United States in 2003 from India. I would like to share my story with you for two reasons. 1) To ask the reader for a genuine suggestion regarding my case and if there is a good solution left that I have not tried yet. 2) To spread awareness amongst legal Indian Immigrants about the possibilities of discriminatory treatment received in America that we don’t think about before coming to the country with our suitcase and dreams.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my letter.
Winston Churchill once said: Never, Never, Never give up. This letter is just another of my many efforts looking for a solution.
I am a single mother, professionally successful, law abiding citizen who has contributed fruitfully to this economy. I have struggled and thrived without any family or support system in America.
I have been misled, misrepresented, discriminated, abused physically, financially and emotionally, and defrauded. I have done everything a rightful citizen /resident should do and have asked the authorities to help on several occasions. However for the past 10 years the authorities have not only failed me, but have ignored all the crimes done against me. With repeated failures to find justice, I am beginning to believe, that I am discriminated as an Immigrant from India.
In recent times, I have seen similar patterns towards my 5 year daughter. I do not want my daughter to be a number in the child abuse data. I want to give my daughter a good quality of life just like any parent would want for their children. I am aware being a child of an immigrant and a minority by itself will bring her struggles in this country I cannot avoid; however I can fight to stop child abuse. Getting equal treatment is far from reality, I am just begging to find a solution to stay away from abusive treatment and poor quality of life. I want to give her a life of dignity, honor, and love from family. I want to explore my options to go back to India with my daughter.
I have spent all of my savings, retirement money and my family’s savings in court cases, lost time from work, spent several hours trying to meet Sheriffs and Police officers to make a report, several interviews with the Child Protective Services, all these efforts trying to seek legal assistance and justice understanding my legal rights and options seem futile.
What are my rights as a mother towards my child and the choice of country we live in? Is there anything, any law protecting immigrant with a child who are abused; to go back to their country legally and respectfully, when the father of the child is an American.

In this letter I will provide proof for all the allegations stated above.

How I was defrauded:
I was defrauded by my ex-husband whom I married on Dec 21st 2003. Some of the instances are listed below:
- He misled and misrepresented himself under Oath in the Marriage court of Mumbai on Dec 26, 2003 by not disclosing his prior two marriages and listed himself as a bachelor marrying for the first time.
- He also defrauded the Catholic Church records at our wedding on Dec 21, 2003 stating he was never married before.
- He misled and lied to my family and I regarding his prior marital, financial statuses and ability to care for me after the wedding.
- He misrepresented his character and didn’t disclose his incarceration records, several litigation on unpaid debt and poor credit, and several sexually soliciting advertisements and records.
- In 2008 he used my information to steal all my savings and retirement funds, cancelled utilities and abandoned my 6 month old child and I in the house, later filing for divorce.

How I was abused:
Physical:
- In the effort to stab me, my ex-husband cut 4 of my fingers of my right hand. The tendons of my fingers were severely damaged beyond repair. (See police report # 07-103416 in Appendix A)
- During my first pregnancy, ex-husband would physically assault resulting in a miscarriage at 5 month gestation period ( See police report # 08-138874)
- My ex-husband physical assaulted and threatened to kill me with a deadly weapon. (See police report #8135312). He was arrested but released for a small bail amount.
- See other similar police cases below in the attachment with this letter


Emotional:
- Early 2009 my grandmother was severely ill, and later in July passed away. My ex-husband restricted our access to travel to see my grandmother and attend the funeral by not allowing to apply for my daughter’s passport. I couldn’t travel without my 6 month old child.
- In 2013, my ex-husband confiscated my daughter’s passport for no obvious reason, just when he learned that I was planning to visit my family during my daughter’s summer vacation.
- Abandonment during and after pregnancy, sexual solicitation to strangers online during marriage are just the tip of the iceberg.
Financial:
- My ex-husband misled me before marriage about his financial stability and desire to marry truly for love. Later after marriage it was revealed that he just needed to marry in Dec that year so he can file “Married status” on his taxes to get a tax refund to avoid IRS penalties. Later years he depended on my income to repair his collections, bad debt and IRS penalties including attorney fees for litigation.
- Before filing for divorce, In 2008 my ex-husband used my information to steal all my savings and retirement funds leaving me with no money.

How my child is abused:
- Nov 2012, my 5 year old daughter complained that she was tied by her hands and feet, wrapped in a blanket and locked in a closet for 30 mins. She was asked not to speak or make a sound. When she gave me this horrific description, I called the police (who brushed me off saying this is a custody issue), reported to CPS, who said this doesn’t qualify as abuse under their guidelines.
- My daughter was dragged around the house by her feet to have carpet burn marks on her stomach and chest.
- The court gave my daughter a solution to go to Child Therapy on a weekly basis to help her deal with the abuse. Rather than punishing the crime, my child is asked to deal with abuse through therapy and allow the abuse to continue.
- My daughter drowned in a swimming pool and was saved by a stranger while she was left unattended by my ex-husband.
- My ex-husband’s family has a history of sexual abuse which makes them immune to child abuse and sex crimes. My ex-husband’s niece at age 10, was sexually abused by his nephew age 14. This incident was brushed under the rug like no big deal. Neither of the children received any counseling or help to deal with this. Later that year Barrington sexually assaults another child Jade age 10 who was under the supervision of my ex- mother in law. My ex-husband and his sisters are sexually abused as children and have a higher level of acceptance to these crimes. I cannot allow my child to have these experiences.
- My daughter has complained about neglect, poor supervision, starvation or poor quality food provided several times, but they don’t even count for discussion with the CPS.
- See related CPS cases in the attachment with this letter.

While typing this letter, and gathering all this data for this letter, I realized how many years, and how many reports have gone by without a solution. It makes sense, why this city has a high child abuse rate, the law /CPS/police dept, etc enables perpetrators like my ex-husband as they know nothing will be done. For a country founded by immigrants, it is not only ironic, but irrational and hypocritical to mistreat lawful immigrants openly on such a large scale.

I almost skipped death twice, lost a child due to abuse, now my daughter is subject to his abuse. In spite of having over a dozen police report, CPS cases, Court cases -
How can my ex-husband legally get away from all these crimes? How can killing an unborn child, several assault cases, attempt to murder me with a deadly weapon, child neglect and abuse, not be enough?

Thank you for reading this letter and I hope you have the willingness to help me with a solution.

Sincerely,
DM

heartbeat
08-26-2013, 09:54 PM
Sorry to hear about this and myself as parent I strictly condemn this behavior towards kids. I am not sure if it works or not. In case did not tried please try to reach your Senator and Local congressman explaining your situation. If possible send a registered mail to whitehouse addressing Mr. Obama and also to Supreme court of Justice. By any chance any one may view and take the decision to help.
Sincerely just I suggested the alternatives to give a shot as your already tried in Police but no hope. Now left is Congress and Judicial folks.

doreenam
08-26-2013, 11:35 PM
I have shared this letter with the following recipients, but I am not sure they would read it:

- The President Mr. Obama on August 17, 2013
- The Governor of Texas, Mr. Rick Perry on August 16, 2013
- The Mayor of San Antonio, Mr. Julian Castro on August 17, 2013
- The CNN, on August 19, 2013

karthikgk
08-27-2013, 10:58 AM
I have shared this letter with the following recipients, but I am not sure they would read it:

- The President Mr. Obama on August 17, 2013
- The Governor of Texas, Mr. Rick Perry on August 16, 2013
- The Mayor of San Antonio, Mr. Julian Castro on August 17, 2013
- The CNN, on August 19, 2013

I am no lawyer or experts, but my two-cents: sending letters to President/Governor will fall into abyss - try contacting your local senators/congressmen. The local senators/congressmen typically hear from their constituents, if even they are not citizens. In your case, looks like your daughter (and you too?) are citizens - you may be heard better

AceMan
08-27-2013, 11:55 AM
If your claims are true, why is the law enforcement so lax? Did you approach your church?

Why are you even thinking of going to India if you are an US citizen? Unless and until you bold and stand your ground no amount of help you get is going to help you.

You can approach local group of VAWA (Violence against Women act). But be aware their steps are extreme for timid Indian mindset and if you have remorse later they will not support you.

doreenam
08-27-2013, 12:48 PM
I have provided with Case numbers with dates and decriptions for every alligation listed. I am still in awe how things get pushed under the rug.

The other problem I am running into is statue of limitation being 2 years. SO for anything that is more than 2 years old, I am out of luck. Anything new, the write a report, but I dont get a follow up, and gets dragged by every authority until its 2 years, then I am back in the same place.

In this thread I have attached a document that includes all the Case numbers and dates , court dates with decriptions, Incarceration dates with case numbers, CPS (Child Protective Services) Case #... all of which is public data and can be retrieved by anyone.

AceMan
08-27-2013, 02:49 PM
In a civilized society, a person is deemed innocent till proven guilty.

You have provided the details of your charges against your ex-husband. I repeat my questions. Why are you not approaching your local organizations of VAWA?

The allegations you have raised against your husband is very serious and merits an attention. However if he is still getting visitation rights and child care options, it means your allegation may not have been proved in the court of law.

Did he file any charges against you?

Chandini
08-27-2013, 03:24 PM
I do NOT know much but below is the website you can contact and take advice.

Apna Ghar, Inc. (http://www.apnaghar.org/)

Chandini


Respectable Reader,
I am an American Citizen of Indian origin. I moved to the United States in 2003 from India. I would like to share my story with you for two reasons. 1) To ask the reader for a genuine suggestion regarding my case and if there is a good solution left that I have not tried yet. 2) To spread awareness amongst legal Indian Immigrants about the possibilities of discriminatory treatment received in America that we don’t think about before coming to the country with our suitcase and dreams.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my letter.
Winston Churchill once said: Never, Never, Never give up. This letter is just another of my many efforts looking for a solution.
I am a single mother, professionally successful, law abiding citizen who has contributed fruitfully to this economy. I have struggled and thrived without any family or support system in America.
I have been misled, misrepresented, discriminated, abused physically, financially and emotionally, and defrauded. I have done everything a rightful citizen /resident should do and have asked the authorities to help on several occasions. However for the past 10 years the authorities have not only failed me, but have ignored all the crimes done against me. With repeated failures to find justice, I am beginning to believe, that I am discriminated as an Immigrant from India.
In recent times, I have seen similar patterns towards my 5 year daughter. I do not want my daughter to be a number in the child abuse data. I want to give my daughter a good quality of life just like any parent would want for their children. I am aware being a child of an immigrant and a minority by itself will bring her struggles in this country I cannot avoid; however I can fight to stop child abuse. Getting equal treatment is far from reality, I am just begging to find a solution to stay away from abusive treatment and poor quality of life. I want to give her a life of dignity, honor, and love from family. I want to explore my options to go back to India with my daughter.
I have spent all of my savings, retirement money and my family’s savings in court cases, lost time from work, spent several hours trying to meet Sheriffs and Police officers to make a report, several interviews with the Child Protective Services, all these efforts trying to seek legal assistance and justice understanding my legal rights and options seem futile.
What are my rights as a mother towards my child and the choice of country we live in? Is there anything, any law protecting immigrant with a child who are abused; to go back to their country legally and respectfully, when the father of the child is an American.

In this letter I will provide proof for all the allegations stated above.

How I was defrauded:
I was defrauded by my ex-husband whom I married on Dec 21st 2003. Some of the instances are listed below:
- He misled and misrepresented himself under Oath in the Marriage court of Mumbai on Dec 26, 2003 by not disclosing his prior two marriages and listed himself as a bachelor marrying for the first time.
- He also defrauded the Catholic Church records at our wedding on Dec 21, 2003 stating he was never married before.
- He misled and lied to my family and I regarding his prior marital, financial statuses and ability to care for me after the wedding.
- He misrepresented his character and didn’t disclose his incarceration records, several litigation on unpaid debt and poor credit, and several sexually soliciting advertisements and records.
- In 2008 he used my information to steal all my savings and retirement funds, cancelled utilities and abandoned my 6 month old child and I in the house, later filing for divorce.

How I was abused:
Physical:
- In the effort to stab me, my ex-husband cut 4 of my fingers of my right hand. The tendons of my fingers were severely damaged beyond repair. (See police report # 07-103416 in Appendix A)
- During my first pregnancy, ex-husband would physically assault resulting in a miscarriage at 5 month gestation period ( See police report # 08-138874)
- My ex-husband physical assaulted and threatened to kill me with a deadly weapon. (See police report #8135312). He was arrested but released for a small bail amount.
- See other similar police cases below in the attachment with this letter


Emotional:
- Early 2009 my grandmother was severely ill, and later in July passed away. My ex-husband restricted our access to travel to see my grandmother and attend the funeral by not allowing to apply for my daughter’s passport. I couldn’t travel without my 6 month old child.
- In 2013, my ex-husband confiscated my daughter’s passport for no obvious reason, just when he learned that I was planning to visit my family during my daughter’s summer vacation.
- Abandonment during and after pregnancy, sexual solicitation to strangers online during marriage are just the tip of the iceberg.
Financial:
- My ex-husband misled me before marriage about his financial stability and desire to marry truly for love. Later after marriage it was revealed that he just needed to marry in Dec that year so he can file “Married status” on his taxes to get a tax refund to avoid IRS penalties. Later years he depended on my income to repair his collections, bad debt and IRS penalties including attorney fees for litigation.
- Before filing for divorce, In 2008 my ex-husband used my information to steal all my savings and retirement funds leaving me with no money.

How my child is abused:
- Nov 2012, my 5 year old daughter complained that she was tied by her hands and feet, wrapped in a blanket and locked in a closet for 30 mins. She was asked not to speak or make a sound. When she gave me this horrific description, I called the police (who brushed me off saying this is a custody issue), reported to CPS, who said this doesn’t qualify as abuse under their guidelines.
- My daughter was dragged around the house by her feet to have carpet burn marks on her stomach and chest.
- The court gave my daughter a solution to go to Child Therapy on a weekly basis to help her deal with the abuse. Rather than punishing the crime, my child is asked to deal with abuse through therapy and allow the abuse to continue.
- My daughter drowned in a swimming pool and was saved by a stranger while she was left unattended by my ex-husband.
- My ex-husband’s family has a history of sexual abuse which makes them immune to child abuse and sex crimes. My ex-husband’s niece at age 10, was sexually abused by his nephew age 14. This incident was brushed under the rug like no big deal. Neither of the children received any counseling or help to deal with this. Later that year Barrington sexually assaults another child Jade age 10 who was under the supervision of my ex- mother in law. My ex-husband and his sisters are sexually abused as children and have a higher level of acceptance to these crimes. I cannot allow my child to have these experiences.
- My daughter has complained about neglect, poor supervision, starvation or poor quality food provided several times, but they don’t even count for discussion with the CPS.
- See related CPS cases in the attachment with this letter.

While typing this letter, and gathering all this data for this letter, I realized how many years, and how many reports have gone by without a solution. It makes sense, why this city has a high child abuse rate, the law /CPS/police dept, etc enables perpetrators like my ex-husband as they know nothing will be done. For a country founded by immigrants, it is not only ironic, but irrational and hypocritical to mistreat lawful immigrants openly on such a large scale.

I almost skipped death twice, lost a child due to abuse, now my daughter is subject to his abuse. In spite of having over a dozen police report, CPS cases, Court cases -
How can my ex-husband legally get away from all these crimes? How can killing an unborn child, several assault cases, attempt to murder me with a deadly weapon, child neglect and abuse, not be enough?

Thank you for reading this letter and I hope you have the willingness to help me with a solution.

Sincerely,
DM

doreenam
08-27-2013, 03:24 PM
You are right about guilty only until proven. I learned a lot about how "Attorneys" operate and can aid their own benefit or take advantage of a vulnerable situation. I had about 45 court dates till date, multiple attorney meetings, etc and I have spent all of my 401k and savings. He has also found good attorneys to help him pass through. My attorneys have helped me on some level (have primary custody, get child support, get the house granted to me, etc) however when I run out of money, their motivation to help me reduces.

He is getting visitation, because the court felt that I didnt have enough to remove a dad completely out of the childs life. To help mitigate future abuse, the court ordered weekly child therapy and granted authority to the therapist to make recommendations for future abuse cases. Which is good for the future, but it burdens me to take my child to the therapist weekly. I dont see how this can be a good solution to penalize past wrong doings, and is a reactive method. Where I need to allow hurt to my child, get her to speak to a therapist and then if it is bad enough, she will get a word in front of a judge. Why would any past activities not be enough?

The only charges against me were - when there were CPS cases open, I didnt allow my child to visit him. Which was acknowledged by the court as a protective mother. But later allowed dad access, for not enough evidence.

katta
08-27-2013, 07:16 PM
It is very sad and heart breaking story. I wish any attorney on this forum will help you.

seahawks
08-27-2013, 10:17 PM
Hope there is something that can be of help.

Take a look at this site.They have a lot of information and a help line.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/)

TexasLawHelp.org (http://texaslawhelp.org/issues/family-law-and-domestic-violence/domestic-violence-protective-orders)

Contact your local congressman/congress woman, Senators if this is your county

Who Represents Me--Districts By County (http://www.fyi.legis.state.tx.us/County.aspx?CountyCode=29&CountyName=Bexar)

I am sure you will get a response and the resources to help you.

doreenam
08-28-2013, 12:34 AM
Who Represents Me--Districts By County (http://www.fyi.legis.state.tx.us/County.aspx?CountyCode=29&CountyName=Bexar)
Who represents me? Thank you for this site - seahawks. Good info.

The national domestic hotline referred me to Family Abuse center, and I have a case with them since 2009 never resolved.

hcme
08-28-2013, 10:14 AM
I am not for/against moving to India. In case if you decide to move, just make sure that you have full custody of your child. There are cases where one parent takes child without other's consent. Make sure that you do not need consent to take your child with you abroad(India).

dudette
08-28-2013, 04:15 PM
Greetings, doreenam. Let me ask you a relevant yet personal question. Who do you trust the most in this world?

spicy_guy
08-28-2013, 04:41 PM
Greetings, doreenam. Let me ask you a relevant yet personal question. Who do you trust the most in this world?

Something fishy here. You joined now and here is your first post.

dudette
08-28-2013, 04:59 PM
You are the fish guy, and a spicy one indeed :p Please accept my humble apologies if the joke came on too strong. The only thing I did was ask a humble question from the OP. Can you please focus on the topic (?) and leave suspicions alone? The woman is asking for help. Thanks for understanding.

doreenam
08-28-2013, 10:54 PM
Spicy Guy - everyone is entitled to some suspicion, I don't mind you making the fishy comment. I wasn't aware of this forum, I stumbled upon this forum while I was researching for laws and rights of immigrants. So I joined few days ago, with the intention to ask these questions. I tried to speak with my family and close friends about my ongoing issues but my family is very simple and naïve and we have never dealt with these issues for them to truly guide me. Friends and coworkers have guided me thus far. I believe every problem has a solution, if I don't know the answer, I should seek help.

Dudette – to answer your question about who I trust most. I trust my instincts and myself the most. I also trust my family. I hope I don’t appear to be a pessimist or a non-trusting person. I am very optimistic. The very fact that I have not given up yet, and have a determination to keep looking, shows that I trust things do get better. Life can throw series of curve balls, does mean I will give up on HOPE!

dudette
08-29-2013, 03:55 PM
please be with them. for yourself. i understand that you are scared for you child. i'm too, sh%t scared. but i need to relax (and detox) and i do so with my faith in goodness (of people). may the force be with you!

doreenam
09-04-2013, 03:20 PM
Hi All,

I have received a reply from the Governor and found an attorney who has given me some good solutions.

I will keep you posted. looks promising. Thank you for your support :-)

DM

katta
09-04-2013, 08:57 PM
I'm happy for. I'm an engineer and my advise is as good as yours, sorry can't help you much. Has any attorney from IV community has offered any help? Have you tried contacting the Indian associations in US? They might point you to someone for second advise.

doreenam
09-05-2013, 02:22 PM
I didnt get an attorney from this forum, but a friend locally referred me to an attorney who has a vast background. The attorney however gave me some good solutions. However I need to pay upfront cost of litigating.

I didnt think of the US embassy, maybe I should try them too.