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Immifriend
07-14-2013, 07:45 PM
Hi all,
I am a legal immigrant posting with an important issue.
I feel very embarrassed in sharing this with even unknown people on a online forum.
I was arrested in the end of may,2013 for shoplifting.i was out on cash bond.the case is registered as misdemeanor, class B.
I am beyond words how much i hate myself for involving in such a stupid,idiotic,crazy act.it was an irrational move.i feel very sorry & guilty for putting myself & my family in so much trouble.I just hate me now.i was out of my mind.
i am shattered & very very very depressed. I can't,don't feel like showing my face to family,friends & loved ones.i feel very shallow.I know it was a huge,huge,huge,huge mistake,biggest mistake of my life & i can't escape the consequences.the bad memory still haunts me & it will always be embedded in my mind.but i want to move on in life.i have learnt my lesson.i want to start fresh.i want to get beyond my sins.

I came to usa 4 yrs ago on H4 visa status.i am planning to join school next yr.i worked in healthcare field in the past back home, so want to pursue higher education,jobs in the same field.I have EAD(Employment Authorization Document) which I got last year.

I don't what was I thinking when i took that irrational step.it ruined my life.

I hired a criminal defense lawyer.i had my court appearance last month & have one more this month end.my lawyer spoke to the Chief or DA.he/she told me that i have two options:- Pre trial diversion or Straight dismissal but can't promise anything.

I was asked to submit a pretrial diversion packet & currently I am working on it.i am not able to understand what all to put in the pretrial diversion packet.
my lawyer isn't helping me much.it is me who is researching everything and asking questions & doing things..he just told that he will take care of everything thing & i shouldn't bother him much by asking too many questions.i paid the full money which he asked, which is a lot.still he doesn't seem to work much on my case.when ever i call, he never takes the call. He never replies to my emails.he didn't even tell me what all i have to put in the packet.initially he just told i have to put only my transcripts..i gathered some information when i googled about such cases .based in that when i ask him ,he then replies " yes, you have to include statement letter etc".
After i put letter, transcripts etc, he tells i have to get letters from friends.i am still trying to get letters from friends which is really, really difficult. when i asked him what about pictures etc..he says, yes you have to put..
I don't understand what will he do when i am doing all the work..atleast he should advise me reg something..

When i asked that i want to meet him personally once to discuss everything, he said that he will have to charge me more for his time spent with me..Now, this is ridiculous.
I am not able to understand anything..


To be frank, it is very difficult for me to get these letters.i am not a bad person.but ..it is very embarrassing to share such a thing with friends..i am in a foreign land..i don't have any best friends here whom i can trust & who know me really well,trust me & write a letter.my spouse wrote a letter for me.i asked my parents to write one more..

What else can i do??
My concerns are - i have an impending travel to my home country in coming two months for two months duration.I am really,really really worried about it.i can't avoid this travel.i am afraid of the immigration issues that might crop up at the port of entry, when i come back to Usa.i am afraid i will get deported.

My other concerns are- my future educational & employment opportunities. all my career options.i can't think of not doing my favorite job.it is my dream.i am into nursing.will there be any problem for me in getting into healthcare field..especially when it involves licensing for job etc.

I know I should have thought about all these when was i involving in such an act.i am just beyond words to explain my sorrow, my agony and pain and guilt.i hate myself.how much i wish i could go back & change the past.i was out of my mind.A min of fun spoiled my whole life..i am not able to sleep properly..

I am trying hard to move on.please suggest me something..what can, should i do.i am ready to do anything to overcome this problem...probation,community service,restitution, anything...i want get over the haunting memory,the guilt & get out of this..i have learnt my lesson.

I have already started doing community service as a volunteer at a local place, with my lawyer's help. I want to do all that is possible.i am not able to live with the guilt.i just want to get over it..i know it is very very difficult to come out of the problem.i feel very shameful to even ask for a chance to move on...This is huge black mark on my career,life.i already got my biggest punishment which is losing the trust,respect, support & love of my family.i just can't take more than this in life.

A Saint Is A Sinner In Past.

Please,please, please friends suggest me something...

ryaneerz
07-18-2013, 10:35 AM
I'm no lawyer, but let me provide my 2 cents.

Firstly, you are understandably embarassed and depressed about what you did. Take this as a self-reflection oppurtunity into why this incident occured and how you can change your life around so you don't do this or somthing similar ever. Feel sad/upset/embarassed, but at some point you have to learn to tidy up and move on.

Secondly, your lawyer sounds like someone who gets hired by a large number of people for petty crimes - meaning, he gets too many cases and his main focus will be to try to get as many people to complete communitiy service, accept guilt pr pre-trial diversion and close cases quickly. The more number of cases he/she closes, the more he/she can take on and make money out of.

I don't know how much you paid the lawyer, but would seriously advice to investigate, hire a good attorney and pony up the money. I am not sure about how you figure out who's a primonent attorney, so good luck.

Lastly, you can't fight this by yourself. You need your husband's and family's and friend's help. If you don't have friends you're comfortable to get character certificates - then find someone who can provide those to you. This is a crime of moral turpitude - meaning, a crime commited with the knowledge of whats right and wrong and you chose to do the wrong. Has immigration implications and job implications, so get all the help you can get and a good attorney.

Good luck.

spicy_guy
07-18-2013, 11:44 AM
Glad you realized what you did and embarrassed and eventually learnt a lesson in a hard way.

Do engage in community service, (which you are already doing) and do prayers. Help people in need, not necessary monitory help. But anything you can be of help to them.

I think this would wash away your guilt.